Yesterday evening was the worse evening I ever had. I was like a volcano waiting to be erupted and this asshole just triggered my anger, without noticing it!

So what if you’re clever? Didn’t you failed in your life before? Don’t bullshit me! You mean you didn’t fall when you learn how to stand? So what if I failed one of the major examinations in my life? SO WHAT I FAILED MY ENGLISH?? SO WHAT I FAILED MY FAVORITE TEACHER?! Who the fuck are you to judge me? As a friend, are you worthy? Friends are not even in the category to judge me, even if you are the person who guides me in my studies! Only people i respect, can! Fuck off my life, you fucker!

Hate me so? As a friend you shouldn’t even compare me with any of my friends! Everyone is unique, even my mother didn’t compare me! Who the fuck are you to compare me? Doesn’t mean that I don’t complaint about your nonsense means I can accept all of your insults!

Seriously, I hate people who don’t think before they say anything! They don’t give a damn fucking shit on how others feel, be it insults or whatever! When someone insult you, you will complaint also right? You will curse the person as if he don't have balls! Fuck you! Fucker!! Can you give it a thought on the issue before jumping into conclusion? I’m sick and tired of tolerating you!

Fuck off you ass! You shall be the last person I ever want to see in my life again!

Second post inspired by The dumb one, specially dedicated to her.

There is this person I know for more than 5 years, she has extremely low self-esteem and confident. I had no reason why!!? She is pretty, big eyes with super long eye lashes (don’t even need to wear mascara) fair skin, with nice boobs, good figure and a photo genic. (Don’t judge me by the way I see girls, I never wrong to judge a girl)

I called her The Dumb One because she is WAY TOO RANDOM! I should say she is a deep thinking person that thinks too much so she couldn’t catch up with my talking. (I admit I m very random!) I said she is random not without a reason, it’s because she think too much, I am already 3 topics in front of her and she just comment on the topic that I have already jumped over. =X I think this is the reason why she don’t speak much when we’re out, cause when she made a comment about the topic that we talked just now (which is already over) we start calling her “alien” hehe..

She is always being bullied by me, sometimes when I felt too guilty I will show my concern to her. (In a cruel way, cause I don’t know how) I felt that she doesn’t like to talk secret stuffs with me afraid that my big mouth will spill everything out! (Hey, if you tell me “DON’T TELL ANYONE” I wouldn’t okay?) Still she is my best friend, though she is kind of coward when I was being bullied by a big bully back then. I STILL REMEMBER!! I got amazing memory when I talked about her. Hahaha!! She used have short bangs, and she will plat her hair when she goes to school when we was younger. :D She is a total black horse also! She rocks still, she will comfort you when she knows you’re upset, or angry over something. She got serious short term memory, so you need to remind her 10 times to get something you need from her. (I hate this most of course)

The thing about her is, she is too concerned over how people think who she is. My dear, no one is perfect. There are billions of people out there, some may like you and some may dislike you. Some may think you are this or that or whatever, deep down you knows who you actually are! Reputation is how people see you, but character is who you actually are. I love you babe, bffs forever :D

This is the 1st post. Kind of emotional one, please bear with it.

Yesterday when I was traveling home some thoughts came into my mind, after I asked The Calm One which course she chose to go, she say she is taking her time as she didn’t want to regret later in the future.

Suddenly I realized I was the one who is regretting my fucked up result. I asked myself, “Crystal, have you forgotten your dreams?” Deep down my answer was YES and I am sure I did. When I gotten back my result I was too shocked to speak, I just told my mother, I failed. My bloody English is D7! I didn’t shed a tear, though I wanted to, I can’t, cause it’s my fault for getting this kind of fucking results. (Well, I told my friends I went home to cry, so that they will not blame me that I forgot about the whole gathering thing)

“What do you want?” I asked myself when I m facing the stupid book trying to figure what course I want to enter, my mother just sat quietly in front of me, trying to no give my any stress or let me feel being blamed. I love my mother when she is so considerate at this kind of crucial time.

Sub-consciously I wrote down all the courses I want in that worksheet that is included in the thick and bulky booklet. Oh god, I realize I wrote all the science courses down, whether I am able to get in or not. (My COP is really low) cannot be bothered, I just post it up. (of course I changed the sequence)

Back to yesterday, so I was walking home, I am really stressed about my posting, will they let me in, or not? I reminded myself that what I wanted to achieve in my life again!

I want to be a female scientist, researched on human organs, how to clone human organ, how to make those organ to be mature in the shortest time, to save thousands, millions, or even billions of people. I also want to stand up on the stage, get a noble award, to mark my name down on the world of science!

Dreams aren’t too late to be found, nor to be achieved; it’s the effort and time putted on it.

No matter what fucked up posting result I will be getting, I will still work on my dreams so prepare to see me in the news :D :D muahahahahaha!!