This is the 1st post. Kind of emotional one, please bear with it.

Yesterday when I was traveling home some thoughts came into my mind, after I asked The Calm One which course she chose to go, she say she is taking her time as she didn’t want to regret later in the future.

Suddenly I realized I was the one who is regretting my fucked up result. I asked myself, “Crystal, have you forgotten your dreams?” Deep down my answer was YES and I am sure I did. When I gotten back my result I was too shocked to speak, I just told my mother, I failed. My bloody English is D7! I didn’t shed a tear, though I wanted to, I can’t, cause it’s my fault for getting this kind of fucking results. (Well, I told my friends I went home to cry, so that they will not blame me that I forgot about the whole gathering thing)

“What do you want?” I asked myself when I m facing the stupid book trying to figure what course I want to enter, my mother just sat quietly in front of me, trying to no give my any stress or let me feel being blamed. I love my mother when she is so considerate at this kind of crucial time.

Sub-consciously I wrote down all the courses I want in that worksheet that is included in the thick and bulky booklet. Oh god, I realize I wrote all the science courses down, whether I am able to get in or not. (My COP is really low) cannot be bothered, I just post it up. (of course I changed the sequence)

Back to yesterday, so I was walking home, I am really stressed about my posting, will they let me in, or not? I reminded myself that what I wanted to achieve in my life again!

I want to be a female scientist, researched on human organs, how to clone human organ, how to make those organ to be mature in the shortest time, to save thousands, millions, or even billions of people. I also want to stand up on the stage, get a noble award, to mark my name down on the world of science!

Dreams aren’t too late to be found, nor to be achieved; it’s the effort and time putted on it.

No matter what fucked up posting result I will be getting, I will still work on my dreams so prepare to see me in the news :D :D muahahahahaha!!